Apparantly my parents wanted a girl, which would have been a pretty reasonable excuse for strangling me at birth anyway, leaving aside the fact that on Friday the 13th at precisely one o’clock (13 hundred hours) I came into the world.

Actually at this point I should say ‘apparantly’ at 13:00 or something, because I obviously couldn’t tell the time, so i’m somewhat going to rely on my mothers word on this, and she isnt here to defend herself, so just take it as read please.

By all accounts she was eating fish, I came along (at home) and she sat up and finished her lunch! I don’t believe she was supersitious, and even if she was, she clearly put a brave face on things. lesser mortals would have been inserting me in a plastic bag and plunging me down the loo with the last dead funfare goldfish i’m sure.

I’m joking of course, before I get a hundred comments from ‘ANGRY of Beckenham’ at the very idea I could even suggest such a thing.

Anyway, that was that, I was a boy instead of a girl, it was Friday the 13th (precisely 13:00) and i’d interupted mummies fish lunch! It couldnt get any worse, could it?

Well, actually yes, of course it could. This, I can now tell you was just the very begining of a catalogue of dissasters, stupity, bad luck and poor judgement. Over the coming posts you will probaly ’sigh’ frequently and say “dear god! how… why… tut tut tut tut tut” or something similar.

The point is this, if just one person reads a post and says “thank god… i was just about to do that myself and now I can see how stupid it would have been” then writing this blog will have been worthwhile.

Feel free to point out in the comments how stupid you think i’ve been, or share your similar stories, whatever you think about these posts, i’d like to know. I can take it !!!